a geeks stab at IT

2012-01-18T17:04:00.000-06:00

Thoughts

2011-07-23T00:11:00.001-05:00

Politicians may be one step below used car salesmen; but journalists are another twelve steps below that.

Ugh

2011-07-06T15:22:00.003-05:00

Realizing how somewhat karmic, ironic, and possibly hypocritical this post will sound after my last one, I'm still writting it.

I could use some prayers for guidance. I'm not going to go into great detail other than to say I'm at a crossroad professionally; and I need some direction.

Gone Too Far

2011-06-20T21:40:00.002-05:00

I realise that there are homeless people. I realise there are people that need money for food. I also realise that the Bible tells us to take care of these people. That being said, I'm about to sound heartless; and I apologise in advance.

You know what? There are homeless shelters. And don't give me that crap about how it feels degrading to have to go to a homeless shelter for food, because to me its more degrading by far to beg a total stranger for money. The Bible says to take care of these people; well I do by giving to my church that feeds the homeless, and by paying taxes that fund the shelters. What more do you want from me. I tolerate these people. I've even been known to give them some change. I've also been told to F U when I didn't. What gives these people the right to insult me, when they've spit on the money I've indirectly offered to them. They don't need food; the only thing they can't get from the shelter is drugs. I've tolerated this as far as I can, because something happened yesterday that crossed the line. Dad and I went to a restaurant for lunch for Father's Day. It wasn't a fancy restaurant, but it wasn't fast food. It was the kind of place that had a nice dining room with a waitress that takes your order. We had no sooner sat down, hadn't even been greeted by the waitress yet, and one of those people came up to our table, dilated pupils and all, with some sob story about needing gas money. We didn't give her anything, but Dad offered to buy her a meal there. She didn't take him up on the offer. Is it not bad enough that I have deal with these people in the parking lot? Do I now have to have a nice family meal interrupted by these drug addicts. Isn't there some law that keeps them from going inside and begging. I tell you I'm not going to go back to that restaurant any time soon. What's next? Will they start calling me at home? I don't even know how she got in there; but it pissed me off. If you're not willing to take advantage of the services our government offers, then you have no right to harass me; not when I'm trying to have a meal. And don't give me that bull about her being less fortunate that me, and I should be thankful that I have a meal because she didn't. Why? Because I am thankful that I'm not in that situation. I am thankful that I have meals; but she was offered a meal and she turned it down. She must not have been that hungry.

Loss Of An Old Friend

2011-06-19T16:57:00.002-05:00

I visited my high school alumni web page yesterday, to see if there was any talk of a reunion in a couple of years. We had a 10 year, but not a 15. Anyway, there is a directory, where you can go in and say what you're doing now. I read about some old friends, and then got the notion to look a few names up on Google. I hung out in a group of five my senior year. We all became very close; but lost touch after graduating; well two of us did anyway. Two were brother and sister, and the brother had married the third one of our group. I saw them at our 10 year reunion. His sister was in a different class, so she wasn't there, but we got the update that she was getting married in a few months. Anyway, to reduce the likelihood of getting someone with the same name in my search, I picked the two that married each other to search for. While there are probably more out there with the same name, the chances of two married people sharing both names with two other married people are slim. The first page that came up on Google was for the American Cancer Society, and there were a list of donors with the married couple's names. And honestly, I didn't even notice that it was for the ACS until I went back to that page later on. The second page was something called young survivors; where I found a copy of an obituary from April of 2008. It turns out that the sister got breast cancer (at least that's what I gathered from some of the posts) and had died. She was only 29 years old. I did some more searching, and found the obit on our local newspaper's site; though she was living in Houston at the time. There was a guest book to sign, but it had already expired and had been archived.

The whole thing floored me. She was my date to Homecoming my senior year; although we had gone as friends. We had all gone as a group. I've been sad since I found out. I mean it's not like I still knew her. I hadn't talked to her in over 15 years. But I think of all of those friends often; and wonder what they are up to now. I would always picture her smiling and making people laugh; because that's what she did; she made people feel better. It was fitting that she had become a doctor. The obit said that she had not had any children, but she had been married for 4 and half years. She was too young. God bless her and her family.

I'm A Genius, If I Do Say So Myself

2011-06-16T17:09:00.005-05:00

Archimedes discovered a way to measure the volume of odd shaped objects, when he noticed the water level rising in his bathtub when he climbed in. To this day, the volume of odd shaped objects is measured by measuring the water displacement when the object is placed in water. I had a similar epiphany this morning.

We had some bad storms last night, and the power went out about 11:00. I woke up this morning to find the power still off. Worried that the food in our fridge would spoil, I got our big cooler out and put the contents of the ice maker tray and the perishables from the fridge in it. As I was getting the ice from the freezer, I saw the enormous amount of frozen meat that I was going to have to cook tonight to keep from spoiling. While the cooler will keep refrigerated things cool, it won't keep meat frozen; and once meat thaws, you can't refreeze it. So I was faced with two options; put the meet in the cooler and cook it when I get home, or leave it in the freezer all day on the off chance that the power comes back on right after I leave for work. It was cool enough in the freezer that the meat would stay just as cool in there as it would in the cooler, even if the power was still off when I got home, so I left it in the freezer.

While I was taking my shower, it occurred to me that the power coming on right after I leave for work, and the power still being off when I got home were not the only possibilities. What if the power didn't come back on until 3:30? What if the meat got warm enough to thaw, and then refroze before I came home? I'd never know. Then my ingenious epiphany came to me. I reached into the cooler, and found a chunk of ice that had been at the bottom of the ice maker tray. You could still make out the shapes of the cubes, but they were fused together in a round chunk, sized and shaped kind of like a baseball. I placed the baseball chunk of ice in the ice maker tray, and turned off the ice maker. If the freezer gets warm enough to thaw the meat, the ice will melt. When the ice refreezes, it won't be shaped like a baseball, but like flat sheet in the shape of the bottom of the ice maker tray. If I come home and the power is on, I look at the ice. If it's like I left it, I'm OK; if it's shaped differently, I need to cook the meat.

Now, I know that this isn't too accurate. The meat might thaw at a different rate than the ice, but at least I'd know something.

I came home and found the power on, and the ice still shaped as I left it. The stove clock said 7:55. And since it says 12:00 just after the power comes back on, I could deduce that the power was restored about an hour after I left for work. In hind site, that might have been all I needed to know to figure out the meat was OK. But since I don't know how well insulated the freezer is, and I don't know how long the power has to be off before meat starts to thaw, the ice was a better indicator.

Two More Shirts; 3rd and 10th

2011-05-31T13:06:00.004-05:00

Opening Credits

2011-04-22T12:10:00.003-05:00

As old TV series are released on DVD's, it has become more apparent that, at least in the 80's, action footage is recycled from episode to episode. You don't notice it as much when the episodes are a week apart, but when you have the ability to watch several back to back, it becomes more obvious. I noticed this awhile back, and it has become sort of a recurring conversation between me and my wife.

I recently started watching CHiPS again. My wife commented the other day, while watching a segment where Ponch and Jon were merging from an on ramp to the highway, that "they sure use that footage a lot." My reply was, "yes, once a week for 6 years, it's the opening credits sequence."

In her defense, my wife doesn't care for my taste in old 80's TV shows. She tolerates them, but doesn't care to watch them. That being said, she often sees parts of them if she's in the room doing something when I'm watching them.

And there is a trend with TV shows now days where opening credits have been replaced with just a graphic with the name of the show, and the actual credits are displayed during the first minute or so of the show. This allows them to pack more into an episode, by not taking up time with opening credits. More likely, it allows them to have more commercial breaks, without reducing the content of the episode.

R.I.P.

2011-04-19T16:58:00.002-05:00

In Memory of Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen). You will be missed.

More Meh

2011-04-15T13:01:00.002-05:00

If I can get through May, I think I'll be able to relax again. I know, just three months ago, I was saying, If I can just get through March, I'll be able to relax again. The difference this time is that I said "I think."

I'm traveling more this year. If nothing changes, I will be on more planes this year than any other year in my life. Maybe, I should say, I'll be on planes more days this year than any other year in my life. I say this simply because, three of the trips I have are all non-stop flights both ways, and I can only think of one time in my life prior to this year, where I was on a non-stop flight. And it was only non-stop one way. So in the past one trip would mean 4 planes, where this year, one trip means 2 planes for all but one of my planned trips.

My favorite airline is now Airtran, as opposed to my previous favorite, Delta. Unfortunately, I will also be flying United and Delta this year. Airtran has been consistently arriving early to my destinations. And that whole upgrade to business class for $49 is well worth it for someone who is 6'2". You get lots of extra room and you get more drinks, even before you take off. The minute you sit down, there is a flight attendant taking your drink order. In addition you get to check two bags for no additional cost (almost worth it for that alone). You also get to go through the employee security line, which for Baltimore International Airport means, you go through the shorter line that doesn't have the look-at-you-naked booths and the touchy-feely TWA people. And snacks; I almost forgot snacks. You get a choice of a good, quality snack; not just peanuts. You can get chips, cookies, etc. my favorite is the twice backed potato sticks, that I haven't been able to find anywhere else. You are also the first on and off of the plane.

Dogs With Lasers

2011-04-08T12:28:00.003-05:00

Diane bought a laser pointer to play with the dogs. The youngest dog is amazed by it, and is constantly jumping and pouncing on it. He even tries to eat it. Our idea was to give the dogs a little exercise using it, but knowing how OCD the dog is, I feel sorry for him. He really wants to catch it and eat it, and he seems so frustrated when he can't. last night, we put a treat on the floor, and ended the game by putting the red dot on the treat. Hopefully it gave him the satisfaction he needed.

The oldest dog doesn't care for it. In fact the only thing that has changed for him, is that he tends to hide behind my chair because the youngest dog is jumping around so much that it scares him.

I thought it would be fun to put the red dot on the older dog, to see if the younger one attacks him. It didn't work. Probably for the best.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

2011-04-08T12:17:00.002-05:00

Not all of the time, but easily most of the time, if I spend a lot of money on something, it usually stops working, or something goes wrong with it very quickly. Last Saturday, I took the new lawn mower out for a spin. The back yard had not been mowed yet this year, and needed it more, so I decided to start with the back. The lawn mower cut beautifully. It ran well, was comfortable, had plenty of power. It was the best mowing experience of my life for 20 minutes. Then the engine died, and it wouldn't restart. Of course the place I bought it is only open until noon on Saturdays, and since I was heading out of town on Monday morning, I didn't even get to call them about it until yesterday. They came to pick it up today to fix it. The good news is that they tried to start it and gave it a once over before taking it with them, and they couldn't figure it out. So at least I didn't look like an idiot. The day it happened, I was sure it was something that I had done wrong, so I reread the manual, and even checked some of the troubleshooting tips (which are written for morons by the way, and didn't help a bit). Hopefully it's some easy fix, and I will have it back soon. I guess it's back to the old lawn mower for tomorrow.

Also on last Saturday, I decided to change the light bulbs in our garage, that had suddenly a week earlier, decided to all go out at once. I broke one of the fixtures trying to put the first bulb in, so decided to wait for a day when everything I touch wasn't breaking.

Also on last Saturday, during the middle of all of this, our Internet went down. Spent about 30 minutes on it, before deciding it was a service issue, which fixed itself a few hours later.

Handy Man

2011-03-30T15:55:00.006-05:00

I'm finally getting around to finishing the window replacement project on our house. Our house has a total of 18 windows. We had the first 9 (the ones facing the street) replaced 5 or 6 years ago. Over the next two years, I replaced 5 more after realizing how easy it was to do, and at a small fraction of the cost. Last weekend, I started down the home stretch of the last 4. Well, 3 of the 4, since 3 are larger and grouped together. Friday, I left work early so I could start before dark, since it was supposed to rain all day on Saturday. I got one of them in. Then Saturday, between storms, I got the second one in. I need to buy more caulk before I can do the third one. They look nice, but they are confusing my dogs. The old windows were warped, and painted shut. These open, and allow us to reach out and pet the dogs. One of them loves it, but the other one is disturbed and confused by it. He likes the attention, but can't understand how we can be in the house, and pet them outside at the same time. As an IT guy, it sounds funny to say I worked on computers all week, then spent most of the weekend installing windows.

I also bought a new riding mower on Saturday, which was delivered yesterday. I can't wait to use it. The old one has issues, and while it still kind of runs and cuts grass, it doesn't cut evenly. In addition, it's extremely loud since one of the members of our household knocked the muffler off by hitting a tree stump. I'm not saying who, as neither of us remember doing it; but it happened. And lastly, I have to disconnect the battery on it after each use, because something continues to run and drain the battery when it's parked. I've checked every inch of it, and can't find it. So, the new one is a Husqvarna; which apparently is a well known brand up there with John Deer; although I'd never heard of them before a couple of weeks ago. It has a much tighter (18 inch) turning radius, as well as many other features that the old one didn't. It even has a drain plug for the oil; which may not sound like a big deal unless you've owned my recent riding mower, which required you to turn the mower upside down, and pour the oil out of the same hole you put the oil into. Not fun on a large riding mower.

Two More Shirts

2011-03-24T14:44:00.002-05:00

R.I.P.

2011-02-23T08:16:00.003-06:00

In Memory of Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart (Nicholas Courtney). You will be missed.

Sometimes Being An Alabama Fan Is Shameful

2011-02-17T09:19:00.002-06:00

I know that every team has their group of fans who are extremists, and publicly make idiots out of themselves, making the normal fans look bad. But recently an Alabama fan, who lives near Auburn, dumped a large concentration of an controlled substance herbicide, on Toomer's Corner in Auburn. Toomer's Corner is one of those landmarks for Auburn University, that is rich in tradition. There are several live oaks that are over 100 years old there. The students roll the trees after a big game win. It's a tradition. Some idiot Alabama fan has ruined that. These tree's that have lived over 100 years cannot be saved, and will soon die. Students are being told not to drink the water, because the amount of herbicide used was so great, that they are afraid it has polluted the water table there. This idiot fan is now facing federal charges, and is being called a terrorist; and rightfully so. This is a college football rivalry folks; not a war. You don't go causing permanent damage for the sake of a prank. Do you know what actions sparked this? Some Auburn fans put a Cam Newton jersey on the statue of Bear Bryant after the Iron Bowl. They didn't paint it on, they didn't break the statue, they didn't poison the water table. They played a simple prank. The idiot fan called into a local sports talk show, bragging that he did this. Of course, he said that the main reason he did this was because he read a newspaper article that stated that the Auburn fans rolled the trees in celebration after it was announced that Bear Bryant had died. Well you know what? This idiot fan was from Texas, and had only just moved here a few years ago. He chose to be a Bama fan after moving here. He read the article after moving here. He wasn't even a fan when this supposedly happened. He just moved here, chose an allegiance, read what was most likely an inaccurate article about Auburn fans rejoicing in a man's death, and decided to take action. The worst thing is, he probably didn't think about how dangerous it is, and now he's facing federal charges, and being labeled a terrorist. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve what comes to him, but it's sad to think that he thinks it's just a prank. I mean, why else would you call into a radio show and confess it like he did. No, I take it back; the worst thing about this is that some extremist Auburn fan is going to retaliate doing something equally stupid and dangerous. And it's the schools that are suffering. The schools that have no part of this, and don't condone such behavior. They are the ones facing possible destruction of property.

Making Statements

2011-02-17T08:47:00.002-06:00

I don't know a whole lot about Michael Bay as a person. I've seen a handful of movies by him, but other than that, nothing. I do know that he made a move recently, that was one of the loudest slaps in the face I've seen; and that ranked high in my book. Megan Fox played the female lead in the two recent Transformers movies. Fox is very attractive; but let's face it, she's not the sharpest crayon in the box. Despite her inability to act, she keeps getting cast in roles because of her looks. Fox recently compared Bay to Hitler. Bay then decided not only to replace her for the new Transformers movie, but he replaced her with a Victoria's Secret model with NO ACTING EXPERIENCE. This was a risky move that may come back and bite him, but I applaud the statement he made. Without saying anything slanderous, he told the world what he thought of Fox's contributions to the acting world.

Learning New Things

2011-02-16T15:25:00.002-06:00

Until today, I thought Chris Cooper and Brett Cullen were the same actor. I didn't realize they were two different people. This is the third time this has happened to me. The first being Bill Pullman and Jeff Daniels, and the second being Ving Ryames and Michael Clarke Duncan.

My Superbowl 2011 Half Time Show Review

2011-02-07T16:56:00.005-06:00

At least maybe Christina Aguilera won't feel so bad.

Comic Authors

2011-02-01T10:25:00.002-06:00

Comic book authors should be required to read the entire series of a title that they have been assigned to before they begin writing; so at least when they completely change something to fit their need, they can explain the continuity errors they've created.

One series I read as a kid, had this great thing called a "no prize." The entire series was written by one author, so continuity errors were few; however, they did creep in occasionally. This author had a great since of humor about it, and created the "no prize." At the end of most comics they have a couple of pages where they print fan letters, and responses. So when people wrote in to point out continuity errors, this author encouraged the fans to write an explanation that resolved the error. He would then pick his favorite, print it in the letters to the author section, and give them the "no prize." The name was because, you didn't actually get a tangible prize. What you did get was a chance to be a part of the process, and the writer agreeing with you, thus giving some canonical credibility to an explanation that resolved a continuity error. This also gave a positive spin on the whole "point out the author's mistake" thing.

DC comics has run into continuity errors on a much larger scale. This is due to long runs of titles, constant changes in authors, and crossovers beyond anything that could easily be managed. Their solution was\is limited run cleanup series usually having the word "Crisis" in the title. In the first one, they proposed the idea of multiple universes, where most things are the same, but where there are subtle differences. These universes would cross occasionally, combine in some cases, and end up with people from one universe staying in another. This gave them the ability to explain away ageless characters, changes in origins of characters, and bringing dead characters back to life. Cause lets face it, nothing sells comics better than killing off a major character; while nothing kills comics better than a major character no longer being alive.

Lots of Stuff

2011-01-28T15:12:00.005-06:00

I just realized my last four posts were all pictures; albeit pictures I wanted to share. Sorry about that. This one's no different, but at least I have words in here too.

I have two new additions to the buzz word list; "antioxidants" and "gluten free."

I saw a picture of a dog at the animal shelter, that I think is mine. I wouldn't put it past him to sneak out and go there to get free food. Where he got the other collar, and how he changes it out is beyond me. But he's a sneaky bugger.

Lots of changes going on at work again. Positions dissolving, merging, and going away. At first I was worried where I would end up during all the reorgs. Now I'm just hoping that 1) I keep a job; and 2) I don't get a pay cut. As for a title and responsibilities, I'll be thankful for anything that satisfies at least the first one; and preferably the second one. As for the rest, I've gone numb. I have never felt comfortable in charge. My comfort zone has always been second in charge; but somehow I ended up over it all. I've done well enough to get merit raises, and I'm told by many what I good job I'm doing; but it doesn't change the fact that it's just not my cup of tea. The reorg threatens a design that would make my current position redundant. And while there is a low self esteem part of me that is going to feel like I failed with any change that even hints as a demotion; the reduction in stress would really be worth it in the long run. As I think of the things I wouldn't be responsible for anymore, I feel a sense of ease. But I know myself, and I know that IF there is a change that causes me to feel as though I've been demoted, I'm going to be bothered by it. Well at least I should know a little more in a couple of weeks.

Egress Out

Me Wants These T-Shirts

2011-01-28T15:02:00.005-06:00

Nuff Said

2011-01-26T14:55:00.000-06:00

Marketing Pet Peeves, Part 2

2010-12-29T11:30:00.004-06:00

Someone please tell me what makes these "HD."

This is what I was talking about before. If we go by the definition of the actual buzz word, the only "HD glasses" would be prescription glasses for someone with something other than 20\20 vision. Let's face it; these are Ambervision, repackaged.

Neat Pictures

2010-12-29T11:22:00.004-06:00

The Devil I Knew

2010-12-16T10:41:00.001-06:00

My boss just got a new job with the company, and will soon not be my boss anymore. I'm not sure how to take it just yet. That is all.

Marketing Pet Peeves

2010-12-14T09:36:00.002-06:00

I've recently discovered a marketing pet peeve of mine; the incorrect use of buzz words. For example, the term "HD" or "High Definition" is really popular now. Home Depot has their line of "HD paint", which from what I can tell is just really vibrant colors. In the 80's, it was the word "turbo." Turbo is meant to be defined as a turbine, or in cars usually refers to a turbo charger that increases the output of an engine. I can't tell you how many things I remember as a kid that had the word "turbo" stamped on it; that had nothing to do with a turbo. Even today, TurboTax uses this incorrectly.

Another thing, that isn't really the misuse of a buzzword, but is along the same lines is the popular trend of putting a lowercase "i" followed by a capital letter at the beginning of a product name. Apple was the first to introduce this with the iMac, and later the iPod and iPhone. But there are many companies out there milking the success of Apple, and in my eyes, degrading their own products for lack of originality.

Another similar thing I've noticed is local commercials. You know; the commercials made locally, that are usually only broadcast on your local stations. They are usually for local, mom and pop stores. I've noticed; at least in my local viewing area, that these commercials often copy a popular national commercial gimmick. And you can almost tell how proud the producers of local commercials are at making something hip and popular; although they are usually a year or more past the end of the popularity of the real commercials. Not to mention, they seem to apply it very sloppily to their own commercial; as if it were a bad after thought. Unfortunately, I'm having trouble coming up with an example for this one; but I know I've seen them.

It's Cold Outside

2010-12-13T08:44:00.002-06:00

OK, it's the coldest day this season so far, and I was unprepared. I have been consistently wearing a heavy coat, gloves, and a warm hat while outdoors for the past several weeks; but not today. Let me give a run down of how unprepared I was.

1) last December I bought a Dodge Challenger. I found out pretty quickly one of the design flaws. Don't get me wrong; I love the car, but let's face it; every car has design flaws. The Challenger door frame doesn't go over the top of the window; similar to how convertible windows are, but it's not a convertible. Because of this, to create a good seal, the window automatically lowers a quarter of an inch each time you open the door, and raises back up when you close it. The flaw comes in when ice prevents the window from lowering. You can pull the door open, but it won't close. In the past, I've used a hair dryer, but it always takes too long. I need to buy some deicer, but I haven't. Now usually, I can avoid this problem by backing into our driveway the night before. The sun usually melts the ice on that side of the car by the time I have to leave for work. Today, it's overcast, and really cold, so that wouldn't have helped. So, today's solution, since I didn't have time to deal with it, was to drive my old truck.

2) My warm hat was accidentally left in the Challenger yesterday, so no warm hat for today.

3) I'm usually very hot natured; I get hot really easily. Because of this, I haven't bothered to get my heater fixed in my truck. It broke several years ago, and it just didn't seem worth it to bother. However, my air conditioner went out this summer, and I had it fixed. While it was in the shop, I asked them to diagnose the heater problem. It wasn't worth the $900 they wanted to fix it; especially when it's not a daily driver. Today it would have been nice to have.

4) I was so concerned with remembering to take the trash out, and my routine was off due to the cold. Ironically (I think) this caused me to forget to put my warm coat and gloves on. I do have a sweater and a sports jacket on, but it was still a long, cold drive.

5) My truck is almost out of gas. I didn't have time to stop on the way to work, but I will have to on the way home; in the dark, on a day that is not supposed to get above freezing. If I'm smart, I'll remember to take a lunch break away from work, and get gas then. At least it will still be daylight, and maybe a little warmer than if I wait until sundown.

meh

2010-12-09T14:26:00.004-06:00

I've been kind of down lately. It's a combination of several things. One, I've been sick for a week and a half, which always makes things bleak. Two, the Minister of Music at our church announced his resignation, with possible plans to leave the church as well; and it feels like half the church is going with him; and I don't do well with change, especially in areas that I thought would always stay the same. And for the first time in my life I feel old. Not OLD old, just... well you know how people feel the need to accomplish things important in their life? I feel like I have a lot of life ahead of me, but that I'm not accomplishing anything. And I feel like if I was going to accomplish anything, that I should have started before now; because most things take years to accomplish. And I'm tired. My health insurance through my company gives us incentives every year to take a health assessment test. It asks several questions about your lifestyle, the last time you had a physical, and what the results were, etc. I got a 29 out of 100. I'm high risk for depression, stroke, and heart disease. I'm at moderate risk for diabetes, and the one good thing that I have is good teeth. Keep in mind that I'm also being treated for high bp and cholesterol, but the health assessment thingy doesn't know that because all it asked was for the values at my last physical. The values were good because I'm taking medication for it. So that 29 should probably be a lot lower. I'm surprised it didn't ask me if I had a pulse after I was finished.

Tilt Shift

2010-11-22T21:48:00.005-06:00

Recently, I've become very interested in tilt shift photography. Now, I know it's nothing new; in fact it's not even new to me. But I've recently learned how to get a similar effect in photoshop. True tilt shift photography uses a special lense that is tilted a an angle so that it shifts the focal plain allowing you to take pictures from a great distance, but only put one section in focus. The result is an optical illusion that makes the subject appear as a minature model, like a train set. Below are before an after pictures. The first one, the before, is a picture of somewhere in Italy that I got from a random web site. The second one is the same picture after I photoshopped it to look like it was taken with a tilt shift lense. Now, I don't claim to be great at photoshop, and I'm still perfecting my technique, but you can get an idea of the effect.

I Have No Problem Working on My Family's Computers

2010-11-22T20:09:00.004-06:00

I received a call from one of my cousins today. One of the things we talked about was how I feel about working on computers when I visit my family. I have expressed some negativity towards it, but I think it might have been misunderstood. The fact is that I don't mind doing it. I absolutely have no problems helping where I can. What I meant was, I don't want to spend my entire visit doing it. I love my family; most of which I only see once or twice a year, for 3 or 4 days at a time. I don't want to take away from visiting, playing cards, or just good conversation. One visit I worked on 5 computers. They asked if I minded; I said no. But by the end of the trip I realized I missed out on things. One of my cousins has multiple computers, and the absolute worst luck with viruses and malware. I've worked it out with him where I can take one home with me, fix it, and bring it back with me the next time I see him, and then pick up another one. This has helped a lot. It might even give us excuses to see each other more regularly, which I welcome. Obviously I can't do this for my aunt, who only has one computer; but honestly I'm glad to help while I'm there.

I've always been really close to my cousins. They are a brother and sister me. As we've become adults with our own immediate families, we've had less chance to sit and talk like we used to. My cousin (that just called me) and I have had some good conversations the last several times we've talked. But there was a stretch there, where it seemed like he was only calling me when he had computer problems. Now, I'm not saying that was the case; it may have been just me, but the conversation when straight from the greeting and seeing how we both were, to a problem on the computer. Many years ago, this same cousin pointed out to me that I only sent him forwards in email. I mistook that as he didn't like getting forwards. I made it a point not to send him any forwards for probably a year, before I found out that all he was saying was that he loved me, and wanted to hear from me. He was happy to see when he had an email from me, and then was disappointed when it was just another forward. This is what I'm conveying with this example. Please call me if you need help; just don't only call me when you need help.

Now this particular cousin and I have had several non-computer related phone conversations over the last several months. It's been really nice.

Bottom line: I don't want my family to think that they can't ask for my help. I'm not at all put out by doing it.

Was Red Tornado An Airbender?

2010-11-19T09:38:00.003-06:00

He could control wind, and he had that Airbender arrow on his head.

Dukes Part Two

2010-11-15T18:33:00.002-06:00

12) Why are the bridges in Hazzard always out or under construction?

13) Rosco was described on a couple of occasions, as the best sheriff in the state before he went crooked. Yet I have trouble seeing Rosco being any more competent at doing the right thing.

14) How can the Dukes know who is chasing them? The police car can be 100 yards behind them, and they say the name of the one chasing them. Even if they can somehow tell Rosco from Enos, How do they know in the myriad of episodes where there was an acting sheriff or deputy? Boss would appoint someone, and in the next scene, Bo and Luke would identify the one chasing them by looking at a police car way behind them in the rearview mirror.

15) Boss always tried to pin things on the Dukes, even when they weren't involved yet. If you were a thief, and you had a history of having your plans foiled by meddling Dukes, why would you force them to take a closer look at what you are doing to clear their names?

16) Does the inside of the General Lee get wet when it rains? The windows are always down.

More to come

The Dukes

2010-11-15T16:25:00.002-06:00

CMT has been airing Dukes of Hazzard reruns, and I've been watching them faithfully. There are some things I never noticed in my childhood, that are starting to bother me now that I'm older.

1) The police cars are different; not just slightly, but noticeably different. It's not a big deal from episode to episode; it can be explained by the fact that Rosco and company wreck them so often. However, they recycle many of the stunts. In one chase scene, you can see up to three different kinds of cars, that only resemble each other by the fact that they are white, and have lights on them.

2) Enos left the show for awhile to work for the LAPD in his short lived spin-off show. His stated reason was that he was tired of doing unethical things that Rosco and Boss made him do. Yet, when he returns to Hazzard, he goes right back to work for them. Then in the Reunion Special in 1997, you learn that he at some point, went back to the LAPD.

3) We go from one generation having many children, to a generation having few children. Bo, Luke, Daisy, Coy, and Vance are all cousins; and Jesse is the uncle for all of them. Given that they all have the last name Duke, this means that Jesse had at least five brothers. Jesse has no children, and each of his brothers apparently had only one child each (except for Luke's parents, as there was a long lost brother of Luke's in one episode.)

3b) In a flashback episode to the 1800's we are introduced to Hank, Joe, and Dixie Duke. Hank is Luke's great great grandfather. Joe is Bo's great great grandfather. Dixie is Daisy's great great grandmother. I suppose this means that Dukes we know aren't all first cousins, which could satisfy my previous complaint. However; they all refer to each other as "cousin" from time to time. I would think that this would only be done for first cousins; since in a town the size of Hazzard, if you did this for second and third cousins, you would likely end up calling everyone "cousin."

4) Daisy falls in love with every man that comes to town. They always end up being a bad guy. Bo and Luke always discover this, and have to tell Daisy. She then passionately defends the stranger that she has known for a day, against her cousins that she has grown up with all her life.

5) Why are Coy and Vance never talked about before or after their brief time in season 5? They supposedly, according to the show that introduced them, grew up on the farm and left just prior to the show's beginning. Yet, they never seem to mention them. I can understand prior to season 5, since the writers didn't even know about them, but they could have at least mentioned them after then.

6) Does Boss actually have the authority to fire Rosco? Isn't Sheriff an elected position? Regardless of Boss's obvious Mob-type power, and his County Commissioner status, I would think that it would take more than Boss tearing Rosco's patches off his sleeves and taking his badge, to actually remove him from that position.

7) Why did they wait until the last minute to make their mortgage payment, when they knew that Boss was going to put obstacles in the way? They should be able to make the payment a day early, if they can make it at all.

8) Why do they always donate the reward money for the criminals they capture to the orphanage, or some other good cause. I understand the need to do good deeds, but the Dukes were poor too. Why not pay off your dang mortgage?

9) Why was Daisy the only one who had a job? She had to clean, cook, do laundry, and work for a living. And she seemed to do just as many "farm chores" as Bo and Luke did. Of course maybe her waitress money went to clothes, since she was obviously the only one that owned more than one outfit.

10) Sometimes the Dukes talked on the same CB channel as Rosco, and sometimes they didn't. How did they know which channel to use to reach the ones they wanted to talk to? And how come some of the people they talked to with a CB were talking on a phone? I didn't know you could use a CB to call a phone.

11) Bo and Luke couldn't carry guns because of their probation. This also meant they couldn't leave the county; could leave the county as long as they were back within 20 minutes; or couldn't leave the state; depending on the episode. Yet, they went on the NASCAR circuit, leaving the show for most of a season with no problems. Then, when they came back, they were locked down to the county again.

Funny Everyday Events

2010-08-18T14:27:00.003-05:00

Today, I was in the restroom, and a visitor walked in behind me. He had just stepped up to the urinal when his phone started ringing. He wasn't there long enough to have started "going" so he decided to step back and answer the call; no doubt wanting to keep whoever on the other end from knowing exactly where he was. Unfortunately he was in front urinal long enough to trigger the automatic flush. So this is what I hear. "Hello, this is Dave Whoooossshhh!" He looked startled as he hastily tried to cover his phone with his hand, and bolt out the door.

Zurn: Automatic Flushing Mechanisms. Giving away your location since 1972.

Firsts

2010-08-06T17:53:00.004-05:00

I debated whether or not to post about this. I think I'm safe though, so here goes.

I by no means consider myself a veteran of managerial roles. In all my jobs, I've probably only interviewed around 25 applicants for various positions. Just earlier this year, I interviewed an elderly gentleman who told me he had been laid off from his previous position, but that he had planned to retire in a year anyway. If I had hired him, and if he had continued with his plans, I would have been looking for another person within 7 months. So he was not chosen. But recently, I had a first for me. Never in my limited experience of around 25 job interviews as the interviewer, has anyone told me that they were going through menopause. Now, I'm sure she was nervous, and it will not weigh against her in my decision; but if she was looking for a way to catch me off guard and leave me speechless, then kudos to her.

Vonage Commercial Issues

2010-08-03T14:33:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have seen the new Vonage phone service commercial lately. It talks about "bundled services" with your existing phone company, and that sometimes you don't know what those bundled services are. Then the people claim it's the last bill they are paying to their old phone company, and they wad it up and through it on a pile of other wadded up phone bills. This commercial has bugged me from the start, and I just figured out why. Bundled services usually means that you have multiple services that a company offers, bundled together for a better rate. For example; you may have Comcast Cable, Comcast Digital Voice, and Comcast High Speed Internet. You could have any one of these, but if you have more than one, it's a bundle, and you pay less for the total than what the sum of all the services individually would cost. One of the beauties of this concept is that you get one bill. So, lets go back to our commercial here. You have multiple people, who have been established as having bundled services with their phone company. They have made the switch to Vonage, who offers only phone service; and now they are wadding up their old bill and throwing it away. So, they are no longer paying for their Internet and cable service, which will soon be cut off for lack of payment. Then their Vonage service, which requires an existing high speed Internet connection, will no longer work. Perhaps a disclaimer should be posted at the bottom of the screen stating that you still have to pay for other bundled services, or at least find another provider.

Viral Video Capital Of The World

2010-08-03T14:30:00.002-05:00

OK, maybe that's an exageration; but between Antoine Dodson and the Strutin' guy a few weeks ago, our crazies are sweeping the web by storm. See above for the latest viral video from Huntsville.

Busy Times

2010-07-21T14:55:00.003-05:00

I'm thankful to have a job in these troubled times. I'm thankful to work for a company that is one of the few still making a profit these days. But dang if we don't stay busy.

We are opening possibly 4 new facilities in the next two months. Two are a definite, and are on schedule. One of the possible ones is the biggest of the 4, and it is looking to be the pain of the bunch. It hinges on a contract award, that if won, will require us to have a facility open, and 100 people hired, in a 30 day time frame. Keep in mind, one of the crucial vendors I use requires a 45 day notice to do their part. Then keep in mind that we don't want to commit to anything until we have the contract, so 30 days is all I get. This particular facility will belong to one of my "complaining" departments. I'll add that the last major project my predecessor completed before she was let go, was opening a new facility for this same department, that wasn't completed on time. So good times are expected to be had by all.

I Missed A Meeting Today

2010-07-21T14:45:00.003-05:00

It was a short, 30 minute meeting, but nonetheless, probably important. It was on my calendar, it was in my "To-Do Bar", and I got the 15 minute reminder. However, when the reminder popped up, it said canceled. I looked at my email, and sure enough, and cancellation notice had been sent out. I clicked on the remove from calendar button, and blissfully went on my way. I came back to my computer, and had a reminder for the same meeting, stating that I was 22 minutes late. I looked at my email, and had a meeting request for the same meeting. In the body of the request, it said, "Oops!! I didn't mean to click the cancel button. We are still having the meeting." I opted not to call in for the remaining 8 minutes.

Mistake At The Star Wars Exhibit

2010-06-30T16:32:00.004-05:00

Star Wars, Lucasfilm, Lucas, Lucasarts, Boston Science Center, U.S. Space & Rocket Center.

That ought to be enough key words to attract the people I'm looking for. Hey, Boston Science Center guys, you have a big, glaring mistake in your Star Wars exhibit. I'm surprised Lucas sanctioned this exhibit with such poor attention to detail. The placard next to Han Solo's costume states it was worn in Episode IV, but the costume on display was the one worn in Episode VI. Is your color blind, lighting guy, your curator too? See below for a comparison. The image on the left is from Episode IV. Note the blue pants and red stripe. The one in your exhibit has brown pants with a yellow stripe. This color scheme was worn in both Episode V and Episode VI. However, the costume in the exhibit contains a vest, which was only worn with those pants in Episode VI.

I Hate Employee Reviews

2010-04-29T16:04:00.002-05:00

The first boss I had at a company that did employee reviews gave me all superior ratings except for one thing my first year. I worked and worked that next year to improve on that one thing. The following year, I still got a low score on just that one thing. I asked my boss about it, and he said, "I can't turn in a review that is perfect, I have to put a lower score on something; and you're just too good in all the other areas." Needless to say, my illusions of employee reviews were shattered for life. You see, I need feedback. I have never had a boss that gave what I consider adequate feedback.

My last boss was lucky to actually do the reviews, even though it was a company policy. She was always about 4 to 6 months late doing them, and I would remind her monthly about it. One year, she just skipped completely. Despite my friendly reminders, she kept putting it off. Finally she said, "This year's reviews are due next month, so I'm just going to skip last year's."

Now it's my turn, and I find myself too busy to do them. I'm already a week passed the deadline, and I'd really rather just not do them. My newest staff member is one of those annoying guys that needs feedback. I never did do his 90 day review, but since these are due now, I'm just going to skip it. He keeps calling me and asking if I have completed his yet. Problem is, he's too good, so I have to find something he could improve on. After all, I can't turn in a perfect review for someone.

I didn't start that last paragraph with the intention of it sounding as hypocritical as it does, but by the last two sentences, I decided to run with it.

I'm Back

2010-04-27T16:35:00.002-05:00

For those of you wondering where I've been, I've had a lot of trouble finding time to write lately. My job has become more time consuming, and leaves me mentally drained at the end of the day. But I'm going to attempt to regularly update again; for my faithful followers who still check this daily, and for my own attempt at keeping sane, by venting my frustrations.

ROLL TIDE!!!!!

2010-01-07T23:35:00.002-06:00

Congratulations to Coach Saban and the Alabama Football Team for their outstanding victory.

Achievable Causes To Protest For

2009-12-15T09:09:00.003-06:00

This morning on the way to work, I found myself behind a left wing, liberal, hippy with this bumper sticker.

I'm sure it is meant to promote peace across cultures, but it doesn't say peace. It doesn't say let's all get along. It doesn't say let's agree to disagree. It says let's coexist; let's all live on the same planet. What an awesome concept. I agree 100%. In fact, this may go down in history as the only issue that both liberals and conservatives can agree on.

Let's all live on Earth, people. At least until we achieve interstellar travel.

For Amy

2009-11-12T09:29:00.002-06:00

Gas Stations and Homeless People

2009-11-12T08:46:00.005-06:00

When I was in college, taking all of those economy classes, I remember learning how the check card was hurting the gas station owners. Because of the high prices of gas, gas stations only slightly markup the price for gas. In fact if they have just one "drive off," they loose money for the day and can't recover. Gas station owners rely heavily on the stuff they sell in the stores. A large portion of that revenue is generated by impulse buys that people make when they come in to pay for gas. So, the ability to pay at the pump hurts their business.

The other night, ironically (maybe), as I was walking out of a gas station store where I stopped just to get a drink, and not gas; I had one of the usual late night encounters with a homeless man asking for money. It occurred to me that their business must also be hurting due to the check card. I mean, I never carry cash at all anymore; and I know I'm not the only one. Even if I did want to fund this alcoholic's habit, I couldn't. It also gives me an honest excuse, suppressing what little guilt I used to get when I turned down these people.

My friends, Anthony and Josh, come from cities where this is more common; Memphis and St. Louis. In my travels with them, I learned that Anthony just yells at homeless people when they approach him. Josh starts speaking in French and acts like he doesn't understand what they are asking; a creative, yet just as effective tact. I remember one time, however; when in downtown Atlanta when Josh's method yielded an amusing result. The homeless man started yelling at us. "we don't need you foreign people here!! We don't want you here!! GO HOME!!" I would have told him to go home, but... well...

Crazy Cat Lady

2009-09-11T16:30:00.002-05:00

For the second time this month, I've nearly stepped in cat vomit on our front sidewalk. Let me back up a bit. A friendly neighborhood cat started coming by our house recently. It has a collar, but no name tag. My good hearted wife decided it looked hungry and fed it. Now it seems to live in our front yard. It comes in our garage; it sneaks through the door into our house when we're coming home. And it vomits on our walkways. Diane has named her Spot. A second cat started living with us too, presumably after Spot spread the word around about where to get free food. Diane has named him Gary after Spongebob's snail. Diane is well on her way to becoming the street's crazy cat lady.

I May Not Be Blogging For Awhile

2009-08-05T09:40:00.003-05:00

I got a..., well, I'm not sure if you would call it a promotion. They combined my job and my bosses job into one job; and I was the lucky one that still has a job. I still do everything I did before, but now I do everything she did too. A pay raise and title change may come later, but it's all been pretty vague. I'm still kind of dealing with the shock of it all. I left work Friday and everything was normal; I came into work Monday and was told by my boss that she had 60 days to train me. But I had not been officially told yet. By the end of the day, the 60 days turned into 2 days, and her boss was calling me to setup a meeting for the next morning. Tuesday, I found that I have the 2 days to learn the bulk of it, and then a week and a half till I'm completely on my own. Today is day number 2 of the first two days, and I haven't been able to contact my soon to be former boss by phone or email, and I'm hoping she didn't get mad and leave early.

Seasonal Haircuts

2009-07-31T08:26:00.004-05:00

Tell me I'm not the only one who notices this. It still happens today, but it was more prominent in the 80's. In TV series, an actor will get a major haircut right before filming a new season. Usually this happens going from first season to second season, but sometimes it's between later seasons. It's not always just one actor in the show, and it's not always the main actor, but it always happens. If you are watching two episodes of the same show, and in one, an actors hair is shorter than in another one, you can bet money that one is from a later season. Some examples that come to mind are below.

2009-07-31T08:25:00.001-05:00

Bones, Cable, Spiders, and Birthdays

2009-07-24T08:27:00.003-05:00

Well, we are almost caught up on Bones episodes. We've finished seasons one through three, and are skipping around through season four. We're trying to watch them in order when we can, but have had problems here and there doing that. We've been having

some issues with our cable box as well. Twice, it's decided to delete our recordings, and our scheduled recordings. Last night I called the cable company, and they reset it, but admitted that they didn't know if it would fix the problem or not. They scheduled a technician to come out next week. I guess I'll see if it has any anomalies between now and then.

Diane and her sister, Joy, have been getting ready for a yard sale coming up in a few weeks. Her mom is living in a new house now, and Diane and Joy are cleaning out the old one and getting it ready to sell. Apparently the world's population of brown recluses have moved in. They found one when they were there on Tuesday, and found 20,000 more when they were there on Thursday. I'm uncomfortable about two things. I have to go there Saturday with them to help move some big stuff, and even though they have sprayed, I suspect there will be some survivors. We are keeping some of the things that Diane wants from the house, and some of it came back with her yesterday. I wish that she had checked it more thoroughly before brining it home. If I die of heart failure in the next couple of weeks, I want to cite this obvious over site as the reason.

I'm going to try to start sending out happy birthday messages to my readers. I started with one of my cousin's, although I don't think he's been to my site to see it since.

Torchwood And Bones

2009-07-01T16:05:00.002-05:00

Well, Torchwood comes back next week... Sort of. It comes out in the UK next week, and then in the US at the end of the month. They are only doing a 5 episode season which will be one story arch, and aired as a mini-series all next week. Go ahead and add it to my previous list of shows that I watch changing or going off the air.

On another note, I've started watching Bones. Great show!! I apologize to Anonymous if my watching of the show causes it to go off the air. I know she watches it too.

Red Tape

2009-07-01T15:47:00.002-05:00

Work is slow...er today than normal.

I spent about half of my time today getting some equipment repaired. Actually, it's being repaired by a service company; my portion of the work was cutting through red tape. They sent me a quote for the work in May, which I signed off on. I decided to follow up with them today since it wasn't supposed to take this long. As it turns out, there was a second form stating my intent to pay that I never got. As I was filling it out I saw that they needed a PO number. I sent a copy of the quote to the purchasing guy I usually deal with hoping that he would send me a PO number. He sent me an out of office reply instead. That meant I had to go through his minions which require a Purchase Request form before they will submit the PO. They didn't have a copy of the latest form, so I had to dig to find it. Then I had to find a charge number since our charge numbers all changed a couple of weeks ago. I got that and filled out the purchase request and turned it in. Then I get a message back that my boss needs to sign off on it. I replied saying that as a manager, I can sign off on anything less than $5000, which this was. Then I get a reply that I can't be both the requestor AND the approver. So I had to get one of my guys to re-fill out the purchase request and sign it as a requester, so that I could approve it and turn it in. I finally got the PO number I needed to fill out the vendor's form and turned it in.

The rest of my day was spent putting together different reports to my boss. Boring stuff but someone has to do it.

Church Service Faux Pas. I Blame The Bulldawgs

2009-06-28T20:39:00.005-05:00

I play trumpet in our church orchestra. We play accompaniment for the hymns that are sung. I have the melody part in most of the songs. Since I grew up singing these, I have most of the words memorized; so as I'm playing, I'm usually singing the songs in my head. Today was the 4th of July service, where we sing the "America" songs. Some liberals may find it odd that these are in the Hymnal; guess it's because it's a country founded on the principles of worshiping God. In any case, we sang\played Star Spangled Banner, America The Beautiful, My Country Tis Of Thee, and Battle Hymn Of The Republic, which is titled "Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory" in the Hymnal. I'll be honest, we do these once a year, and the only one I really know ALL the words of is My Country Tis Of Thee; and that's thanks to my second grade teacher who had us all memorize that song and sing it each day after we did the Pledge of Allegiance, which was usually after our prayer, back when you could do all those things in school. Anyway, my habit of singing the songs in my head isn't contingent on me knowing the words, it just happens. I found myself feeling quite the heathen sitting in church this morning, playing my trumpet, and hearing the words, "...and to hell with Georgia Tech!" going through my head. For those of you who don't know, The Georgia Bulldogs use the Battle Hymn Of The Republic as their fight song.

At least I wasn't the one belting out "Teacher hit me with a rulah," as my lovely wife did years ago.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREG!!!!!

2009-06-17T16:33:00.000-05:00

Not So Sexy Now, Huh?

2009-06-11T09:14:00.001-05:00

My Top 25 Doctor Who Stories

2009-06-09T23:48:00.001-05:00

In order of appearance.

The Edge of Destruction
The Three Doctors
Planet of The Spiders
Robot
The Ark In Space
Revenge of the Cybermen
Pyramids of Mars
The Invasion of Time
The Ribos Operation
The Pirate Planet
The Stones of Blood
The Androids of Tara
The Power of Kroll
The Armageddon Factor
City of Death
Shada
Arc of Infinity
Mawdryn Undead
The Five Doctors
Battlefield
The Empty Child \ The Doctor Dances
School Reunion
The Runaway Bride
Time Crash
The Stolen Earth \ Journey's End

IT Definitions That Corporate Employees Should Know: #1

2009-06-02T12:49:00.003-05:00

Not Supported - Not supported does not mean it won't work; it just means if it stops working, we won't fix it. For instance, let's say that we tell you that we don't support iPhones on our corporate email system, and you decide to go and buy one anyway because Apple has advertised that it will work. When it arrives you submit a help desk ticket asking that it be setup to get your corporate email, and we close the ticket stating to you for the second time, that we don't support iPhones on the corporate email system. Your buddy at Innotech gets his corporate email on his iPhone, and shows you how to set it up and it works for 3 months. Then we decide to tighten security and change the email system and your iPhone can't get emails anymore. Given this situation you should you

A) Remember that we told you that we don't support iPhones, realize that it was by luck that it worked in the first place, and quietly drop the issue.

B) Submit ticket after ticket stating that it worked before and that we need to fix it. Support your reasons by quoting something you read (from Apple's web site) that iPhones have surpassed Blackberries in market sales and that it is just as secure. Ignore any technical bulletins put out by non-biased parties stating the nightmare of security problems that exist when allowing iPhones in your company.

C) Remember that we told you that we don't support iPhones, realize that it was by luck that it worked in the first place, and quietly drop the issue.

D) Tell us how your friend's iPhone works at his company and suggest that we call them to see how they set it up on the assumption that we only don't support things that we don't understand; while neglecting the fact that their company has been hacked twice in the last 5 years because of relaxed security precautions.

or

E) Remember that we told you that we don't support iPhones, realize that it was by luck that it worked in the first place, and quietly drop the issue.

The correct answer is A, C, or E.

What A Busy Month Of May

2009-06-02T12:18:00.002-05:00

May flew by for me. I had two training courses for work, and two major emergencies at work, and things are just now starting to get closer to normal again. Of course we're still feeling the repercussions of the last emergency, but it's past emergency stage, and on to, we need to fix it stage.

On the home front, my 46" Samsung DLP TV, which I have loved so far, started giving me fits. A couple of months ago, it started turning itself off about a minute after turning it on. Total it probably did it 7 times; more of an annoyance than anything. Then last Thursday, a white dot appeared on the screen. I would say its the size of about a dozen pixels, but I don't think DLP TV's have pixels. In any case, I decided to call and get it fixed. I forgot to call on Friday, but by Saturday, two more white dots, roughly the same size appeared. So I called Best Buy. Now, I have always been someone who never buys extended warranties or service plans. Most are scams just to get more money. But when I was in the market to buy this TV, a guy I work with, who is a former Geek Squad guy, recommended that I get the extended service plan if I bought it from Best Buy. As it turns out, the plan covers 4 years. If they can't fix it, they will give you credit to purchase a new TV at Best Buy for the same amount you paid originally for the covered TV. Since the prices of TV's tend to drop, you can get more TV for your money the second time around. In any case, I'm glad I did. The service repair people are supposed to come to the house later today to look at it. Since Saturday, 5 more white dots have popped up, for a total of 8 so far. To tell you the truth, I really hope they can fix this one rather than me having to buy another one. This has been the best TV I've ever had, and I'm happy with it.

Ironic Or Not

2009-04-28T13:56:00.002-05:00

Alanis Morsette came out with a song several years ago called, "Isn't It Ironic." I remember a lot of the Lit Heads at the time criticizing that none of the situations mentioned in the song were ironic, but fit the common misuse of the term ironic. I feel that I often misuse the term, since I thought the things in that song were ironic. Maybe it's ironic that the song had no irony, or maybe I'm misusing that too. From my memories of literature classes, irony is defined as something happening that is the opposite of what was expected to happen. Example, a guy I work with is keeping emails to prove that he warned the CIO of the incapability of the new backup system to successfully backup the email servers. The irony is that he won't need the emails until a catastrophe happens where the email server is lost, and there are no sufficient backups. At that point he won't have his emails proving this. Is that irony?

Dictionary.com says this about irony.

"The use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend."

I thought that was sarcasm.

In any case, I guess I agree that the song was more about Murphy's Law than irony. Such as a man who was afraid to fly and never would, finally flies, and his plane crashes; or rain on your wedding day, black fly in your chardonnay, etc.

Another "Why Is Obama Letting This Happen" Post

2009-04-28T13:45:00.004-05:00

I had to visit one of my many doctors this morning for an annual checkup. I've been places where they say to turn on the cell phones, etc., but this place only had a sign that said, "For the courtesy of others around you, please silence your cell phones." The sign was only in the lobby. They had another sign at the pay desk that said not to talk on your cell while checking out, but that's irrelevant to my post. Basically, these people were saying it's OK to have your cell phone on, it won't disrupt equipment. It's OK to talk on your phone, but its discourteous for others to have to hear your ring tone. I'm cool with that. The most annoying thing about other people's cell phones to me, is the ring tones anyway. But here's where it gets ironic (my next post will discuss my possible misuse of term ironic.) In the corner of the waiting room was a small chair, table, and lots of toys. Some doctor's offices have these to keep the kids occupied while their parent is waiting to be seen. Amongst the toys on the table was one of those toy cell phones that makes a different annoying ring tone depending on what button you push. So I ask. How is this different?

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold. And It Is Very Cold In Parking Lots

2009-04-28T13:31:00.002-05:00

We have at least 10 motorcycle riders that work where I do. I don't know if most park differently somehow, but for some reason only one has become a mortal enemy. An orange bike that parks between trucks and SUVs. It makes me drive out of my way and turn halfway into it's seemingly empty parking spot only to have to stop, backup, and go somewhere else. I've had visions of doing the thing from Smokey and The Bandit, where Snowman drove away from the biker bar crushing all the motorcycles. Yesterday morning I had my revenge without even trying. I pulled into a space that was in front of another empty space, and did the pull through thing. Just then, I saw Mr. Orange Bike try to park in the space I was pulling through to. He had to stop and backup. YES!!!!

Diane Might Be Right

2009-04-27T13:20:00.002-05:00

As much as I hate to admit it, Diane may be right about my taste in TV shows. It seems the ones I watch keep getting canceled. Below is a list from this year alone.

The New Knight Rider (not officially canceled, but in limbo)
Chuck (also in limbo)
Stargate Atlantis (Canceled)
Battlestar Gallactica (Canceled)
Sarah Connor Chronicals (Canceled)
Life On Mars (I must admit, it had been announced that it was being canceled before I started watching it, but I began to like it.)
Dollhouse (talks of canceling)
Torchwood (not canceled, but revamped)
Doctor Who (not canceled, but on hiatus for a year to return revamped)

On another note, Smallville, which was supposed to be canceled at the end of last season went on for one more season. I've prepared for it all year, and was actually looking forward to seeing how it would end. Just 3 more episodes this season, and they got renewed for another.

Disturbing Native Head Shrinking Recipe

2009-04-23T08:48:00.000-05:00

1. Kill enemy.
2. Cut off head.
3. Carefully pull skull out through neck hole, leaving bag of head flesh.
4. Place red seeds under eyelids; sew shut.
5. Pin mouth shut using three palm stakes.
6. Boil flesh in tannin-rich water.
7. Dry with hot rocks and sand.
8. Be careful not to lose pleasing pseudohuman shape! Remold if necessary.
9. Rub with charcoal and decorate festively.

Sorry I've been away

2009-04-23T08:36:00.003-05:00

Between a work business trip to Clarksville, TN (insert Monkees pun here), a large amount of unpaid overtime, and a quick trip to a family reunion in TX, I've been unable to find time to update.

Things are going well. My uncle is doing better. He had his surgery, and things aren't looking as bad as they thought. I thank all of you for the prayers.

Work is still busy, but our deadline is April 30th, and we are slightly ahead of schedule. Still a lot of work to do, but it's slowing down a little.

Today is bring your snot nosed troublemaker to work day. Like last year, I will be shutting my door as much as possible. And yes, I am doing this mainly because of one kid who's mother obviously takes disciplining her children as seriously as she does her job. To give you an idea, the last time her computer broke, she asked us not to fix it right away so she could go home, because she hates her job. This is the kid that unplugged a projector during a presentation last year. And they want us let them in the Data Center!?!?! The IT guy giving the tour of the Data Center has conveniently placed boxes, blocking areas to keep Mr. Grubby Hands from taking down a multi billion dollar company. I've made the suggestion to just give the tour from outside the room and let them just look in the window, but unfortunately the promo said they would get to go into an actual Data Center.

Prayer Request

2009-03-25T14:43:00.002-05:00

My Uncle Gary on my dad's side was diagnosed with Cancer. They will be doing surgery soon, but they are afraid it is in advanced stages. Please keep him in your prayers.

"Frequently Asked Questions at Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support" By Anon

2009-03-20T07:27:00.000-05:00

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

Random Thoughts

2009-03-16T09:29:00.002-05:00

Well, the book is going slowly. It seems to have stalled, but i haven't given up on it yet.

I haven't had much time to write on this blog lately; and I do apologize for that. I typically take a few minutes of my work day to write, which I should probably move to an at home activity since work has gotten busier. Nothing bad. In fact, I'm thankful to have a job. I'm thankful to have received a promotion, and to work at a company that still has growth projections. A lot of companies are laying people off; some because of the economy, and some because of fear of what our new president is going to do to them.

Has anyone else noticed that the end of the Mayan calendar, which ends on December 21, 2012; near the end of Obama's term in office?

I KNEW IT!!!!!

2009-03-13T14:51:00.003-05:00

The mail lady is showing the new girl around. As they were walking down our hall, I heard her say, "...and the one we give all IT's mail to is..." then she said my name. Why?!?!

The Perfect Woman

2009-03-09T08:24:00.002-05:00

Some traits of a perfect woman IMHO.

Beautiful singing voice, preferably alto.
Quotes movies with me.
Christian beliefs.
laughs at bad jokes.
a little bit crazy, but just enough to be fun.
Takes good care of me when I'm sick.
Loves unconditionally, even though I don't deserve it most times.
Watches Star Wars with me even if she doesn't like it. Falls asleep during it, and while talking in her sleep mumbles "Stay on target, stay on target."
Constantly reminds me to take my medicine not because she nags, but because she doesn't want me to be sick.

Common Excuses

2009-03-03T08:33:00.005-06:00

I noticed awhile back that when you go out to eat with a large group of people, and you all pay by credit card, the waiter never has enough pens for everyone. Occam's Razor would suggest that this is because the waiter normally isn't cashing out many people at once, and only carries a few pens with them at any one time. However, every waiter or waitress always says, "Sorry; people keep stealing my pens, you'll have to share." Maybe those of you who have been wait people can tell me. Is this true? Do people often steal your pens? Or is that just an excuse used in fear that I'm going to leave a smaller tip because you didn't have the forethought to carry 20 pens in your apron?

While we're on excuses. I've noticed when at a store, making a special purchase, or at the insurance office, bank, or anywhere that requires you to sit down with a sales person entering your info into a computer, they always start complaining about the computer. My guess is because people in that line of work are people people that hate technology. Some of them even tell you as much. But they always seem to say something along the lines of A) It's a new system, and they are still learning it, or the tech guys are still working out the bugs. B) It's been recently upgraded, and doesn't work as well as the old system. or C) Their computer is acting slow just on that day, or it is mad at them. None of them will own up to the fact that maybe it's just a slow process, and it just takes as long as it takes. They all assume you are irritated that they are having to type into a computer while talking to them, when in fact I'm irritated that i have to talk to them and that I can't enter my own info on their web site, avoiding them altogether.

Technology vs. Man

2009-03-03T07:54:00.003-06:00

A couple of years ago, my bank installed these new teller stations inside. They were similar to the drive thru stations in that they were just a screen, an intercom, and a tube chute. They were designed to be more efficient, staff-wise, and more secure since the tellers and the money were in some other room safe. They left 2 teller stations the old way, so that people that had more complicated transactions could still talk face to face with a person. I for one, loved it. It was actually faster, and I didn't have to talk face to face with a teller. Well about a month ago, the old people ruined it by complaining. TANGENT First off, I mean no offense to older people that are scared of technology. I can understand. I for one hate the self checkouts at the grocery stores. As much as I hate waiting and having to talk to people I don't know, unless I have just a couple of items I hate the self checkout. I feel like I am holding up a line because I'm slow at it, it always breaks causing me to have to wait and talk to someone I don't know that is sent to fix it, and inevitably its the only stinkin' line open at Home Depot when I have large items that can't be scanned easily. - END TANGENT. The bank ended up putting everything back the way it was. Now I have to go to the drive thru to avoid talking to people face to face. I think they should have left at least two stations setup the new way for people like me. I mean, they had the two stations with people before.

I'm reminded of the time I worked at the museum. I had to stand outside a ride that was closed once to tell people it was closed, and offer directions to other attractions. I argued with my boss that a sign would be better, and he said people don't like signs, they would rather talk to people. I knew that was a load of horse pucky, because I hated talking to people. I will wander all over a place looking for a sign to help me so that i don't have to talk to people. I turn down employees that ask if they can help me, even when I need something, so that I can continue looking for a sign. I've not bought things before at stores simply because they require you to get someone to open a case for you. I try not to make eye contact with employees to avoid them asking if they can help me with something. I make most of my non-routine purchases on the Internet to avoid talking to these people.

Then you have the people that DON'T work at these places, and aren't required to talk to you. Those are the real crazies. You know, the ones that just start talking. I usually smile and nod, and not say anything. It's never good to encourage these people, because they keep talking. Trust me a few seconds of awkward silence is worth it to get away from these people. My wife has the misfortune of having a voice that carries. So her and I will be having a private conversation and she'll say something that sparks these crazies to talk to us. I usually try to fall through the cracks when this happens, and feed her to the dogs.

The irritating people that I work with that don't use the help desk often use the excuse of being "a people person." This somehow gives them the right to come and talk to me about something that I'd rather read in an email. The only advantage of those people persons, is that I can plausibly say they never requested anything when I forget to do it. Then I can suggest that they use the help desk system next time so they will have record that they asked for something.

My friend, Padre, used to argue that our society is deteriorating because of technology. He is one of those people people.

An Addition To The Bad Office Humor

2009-02-25T08:05:00.002-06:00

For those of you that have followed my blog for awhile, you may remember that I have to deal with people that all tell the same jokes, and make the same "witty" comments. They each think they are original.

Yesterday, a couple of the other IT guys and I were installing data cable in a large conference room. This conference room is in the center of the building, and right next to the outside smoking area, so on average of once every five minutes or so, people were walking through on their way to some other destination. And as you've probably already guessed, they all had comments. If I heard, "runnin' cable?" once, I heard it a thousand times. I was reminded of Bill Engvall who told the story of the guy on the side of the road that had the flat tire. A guy stopped and looked at him and said, "flat tire?" to which he replied, "nope, I was driving down the road and the other three just swelled up on me." One of our IT guys started responding to the "runnin' cable" comments with, "nope, pullin' it out" and "this room is on a wireless system."

Expect Nothing Less From The Company That Brought You Vista

2009-02-25T07:54:00.002-06:00

Micro$oft laid off several employees recently and due to an accounting error, overpaid the severance packages to those let go. Then they sent a letter out to the laid off employees asking that they return the extra money.

Come on, M$. You're a multi billion dollar company asking people without jobs to give you back money that you accidentally gave them. I once worked for a non-profit organization that accidentally paid me at a higher pay rate than I was supposed to be at because of an HR error. When I brought it to their attention (yes I'm honest) they corrected it, and told me not to worry about the amount I was over paid because it was their error. Let me point out again that they were a non-profit organization, and that they struggled to keep the doors open as it was.

I don't know the cause of the Micro$oft glitch, but I'm sure it was a problem with their accounting software that is probably Micro$oft brand.

Dream Cast Update

2009-02-19T09:07:00.001-06:00

Need to add

Scott Michael Foster
Clark Duke
and
Yvonne Strahovski

to the Dream Cast List

Top 10 Movie Quotes That I Say A Lot

2009-02-19T09:03:00.003-06:00

I find myself quoting lines from movies a lot in daily conversation, so I decided to make a top 10. I'm going to leave out Star Wars quotes, because it would force me to make it a top 50. I am going to, outside of the top 10, mention "That's not it, bring me the hydrospanners" from Empire Strikes Back, because I do say that a lot, and it is related to my blog address. So, here they are, in no particular order. Keep in mind, some don't really make sense as quotes, but I tend to say them in the same reflection as they were said in the movie.

"Never heard of it" - Donald Sutherland in The Dirty Dozen
"You've Got me?!?! Who's Got You!?!" - Lois Lane in Superman
"Okie Dokie, Dr. Jones" - Short Round in Indiana Jone and The Temple of Doom
"Obviously" - Snape in Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix
"Give him a hand; he's British" - MC in Galaxy Quest
"Your clothes are now...dry" Marty's Jacket in Back To The Future II
"They put creatures in our bodies" - Checkov in Star Trek II, The Wrath of Kahn
"Yes, have some" - Louis in Ghost Busters
"I looked in the trap, Ray" - Egon in Ghost Busters
"It's not a tumor" Kimble in Kindergarten Cop

And an honorable mention, actually from TV.
"haha...Yessssss" Phil Hartman as Ed McMahon in Saturday Night Live

Walmart vs. IT

2009-02-19T08:52:00.002-06:00

I know a lot of your eyes glaze over when I talk shop, so I'm going to tell this story with an analogy. One of our development groups hired a contractor that keeps coming and asking me questions that if he sat and thought about my answer to the first one, it would keep him from asking me the rest. Here's my analogy. Jigsaw once told me of her time working at Walmart at the jewelry counter. A customer walked in and started looking at the watches and said she was looking for one that was battery powered, not windup. I could kind of see her confusion since a lot of watches, though battery powered, still have a dial on the side. To make things easier for the customer, Jigsaw told her that all the watches they sold were battery powered. The customer then preceded to ask one by one, "Is this watch battery powered?" "What about this watch, is it battery powered?" Jigsaw answered each time, "Yes, all of our watches are battery powered." She was then reminded of the elementary school logic tests, "All of our watches are battery powered. This is one of our watches. Therefore it is battery powered." Well I'm here to tell you. This contractor has to be related to that customer.

Let's Ride The Catastrophe!!

2009-02-18T08:57:00.005-06:00

What is the statute of limitations for making light of disasters? At what point can you make a carnival ride theme based on a massive loss of life. At what point is this appropriate?

Does this come with an inflatable panel of wood for little girls to pretend they are watching Leo DiCaprio freeze to death? Does it come with an inflatable quartet playing "Nearer My God To The" as you slide whimsically to your inflatable death of hypothermia? Maybe the rich kids can ride the inflatable life boats to safety. And look, it comes in two sizes. How much you want to bet the 27' didn't have enough life boats either?

What's next? A Gravitron called "Katrina?" A free fall ride called WTC-911? Too soon?

What about an inflatable slide shaped like an exploding shuttle called Challenger? Still too soon?

What about an inflatable slide called Apollo 1, with three inflatable charred bodies.

How, How, How, in Obama's America, can this be tolerated? I'll tell you why. Because Obama doesn't care about white people.

Murderers Don't Kill People, Hospitals Do.

2009-02-18T08:45:00.005-06:00

There is a murder trial going on this week for a guy that shot 4 people, 1 of which died immediately, 1 died later in the hospital, the other 2 lived, at our TGI Friday's awhile back. Now before I go too far in this story, let me put on my southern lawyer voice, and wipe the sweat from my brow with a handkerchief and say, "I'm not an expert in law." I do know that there are different levels of murder ranging from accidental, self defense, involuntary, what not, so I know what I'm about to say may not be that absurd. But the defense lawyer is stating that the hospital didn't work hard enough to save the life of the one that died in the hospital. I'm sure those weren't the exact words, but it basically boiled down to it's the hospital's fault he died.

I'm sure the gunshot wound had nothing to do with it.

I know it could mean the difference in the death penalty and life in prison, or something, so sure, why not try for something less, but still. Could you imagine being the lawyer, or better yet being one of those "assigned" lawyers to the people that can't afford them. What do you do if you know your guy is guilty, there were witnesses, but you still have to defend him the best way you know how?

I guess lawyers can do it, but I couldn't.

Making the most of your IT department

2009-02-17T09:29:00.003-06:00

1. When IT say they're coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no problem for us to remember 700 network passwords.

2. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

3. When you bring us your own no-brand home PC to repair for free at the office, tell us how urgently we need to fix it so your son can get back to playing DOOM. We'll get right on it because we have so much free time at the office.

4. When an IT professional is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts out and expect him to respond immediately. We exist only to serve and are always ready to think about fixing computers.

5. When an IT professional is at the water cooler or outside having a smoke, ask him a computer question. The only reason why we drink water or smoke at all is to ferret out all those users who don't have email or a telephone line.

6. Send urgent email ALL IN UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

7. When you call a helpdesk engineer's direct line rather than the helpdesk number, press 5 to skip the greeting that says he's on holiday for a week, record your message, and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an email straight to the director because no one ever returned your call. You're entitled to common courtesy.

8. When the photocopier or fax machine doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it, right?

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE or BUSY SIGNAL message at home, call the helpdesk. We can even fix telephone problems from here.

10. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on a chair in IT. Leave no name, no phone number, and no description of the problem. We love a good mystery.

11. When you have a helpdesk engineer on the phone walking you through changing a setting; read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to DO anything; we just love to hear ourselves talk.

12. When we offer you training on the upcoming OS upgrade, don't bother. We'll be there to hold your hand after it is done.

13. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently just disappear into the cosmos for no reason.

14. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.

15. Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.

16. If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to go around and update the network drivers for yourself and your co-workers. We're grateful for the overtime when we have to stay until 2:30am fixing them.

17. When you have an IT person fixing your computer at a quarter to one, eat your lunch in his face. We function better when slightly dizzy .

18. Don't ever thank us. We love this AND we get paid for it!

19. When a helpdesk engineer asks you whether you've installed any new software on this computer, lie. It's nobody's business what you've got on your computer.

20. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 45 lbs. of computer sitting on top of them.

21. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the network/mail upgrade. Keyboards work much better with half a pound of muffin crumbs, nail clippings, and big sticky drops of Coke under the keys.

22. When you get the message saying "Are you sure?" click on that 'Yes' button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

23. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". It never bothers us to hear our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

24. When you need to change the toner cartridge, call the helpdesk. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

25. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

26. When you receive a 30-meg movie file, send it to everyone as a high-priority mail attachment. We've got plenty of disk space and processor capacity on that mail server.

27. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. God forbid somebody else might get a chance to squeeze into the queue.

28. When you bump into an IT person in the supermarket on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We work 24/7, even while at the supermarket on weekends.

29. If your son is a student in computer science, have him come in on the weekends and do his projects on your office computer. We'll be there for you when his illegal copy of Visual Basic 6.0 makes your Access database flip out.

30. When IT send you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're probably just testing out the public groups.

31. When it's 5 minutes past our shift and you see us with our coats on ready to leave, feel free to ask us your questions. We don't mind working for free, nor do we have families to go home to. All we really wanna do is work on computers 24 hours a day.

32. When you are trying to listen to radio stations off the internet bother us when they come in choppy or skipping, we have nothing better to do. There might be a server down somewhere but your listening pleasure is our goal.

33. Your monitor is not your computer damnit!!!!! There is a difference.

34. You do not save files on your monitor. When something happens to your monitor and we have to switch it out, don't ask us if you are going to lose any important files. The only thing lost will be our sanity.

35. You do not know more about computers than us. Period end of statement.

36. Yours is not the most important problem in the world, You'll be able to check your email again in 5 minutes. Emails don't have legs, they won't walk away, and they are very patient.

37. Also when you have a problem, feel free to call and email every tech in the building. When someone does come and fix it, don't tell the other techs it's all fixed. Make us rush through things and blow off other things, because we have a million things to get to. Besides we love that feeling of relief when we realize it's done. That's our fault though you should've been our first priority the whole time.

38. Come to us with flyers from the newspaper and ask us if the latest Gateway is a good deal. Even though you have no intention of buying it anyway, we love explaining everything to you and taking our time to carefully go over everything even though you don't want to buy anything, that's our job.

Some Venting

2009-02-17T09:00:00.002-06:00

Wow, I've fallen behind. Sorry. Work as been busier that it's normal the past few days. Because I can't seem to remember to keep my mouth shut, I've been given the extra duty of giving the basic IT training to the new employees at the employee orientation every week. It started out with me saying that we needed some sort of training for the employees. That was my way of saying I wanted something in their personnel file stating that they had been exposed to our procedures so I could fight back the next time some ignorant user complained that they weren't getting the support they needed. Instead it got me put on the employee training working group that meets every other week to discuss employee training needs and how to meet them. That alone should have told me to keep my mouth shut. Anyway, I've been putting together a packet as well as a training program. The packet will include our Acceptable Use Policy. Its the policy that most people swear doesn't exist because they've never seen it. Its on the company intranet, under the "policy" section, titled "Acceptable Use Policy." I mean it can't be more obvious. Then again, these are the same morons that received 7 emails stating that the user names would be changing, then started blowing up the phones on Tuesday morning saying they couldn't log in. My next post was actually written by someone else, but says exactly what I want to complete my venting for the day.

A Book by Roy and Diane

2009-02-12T14:42:00.003-06:00

Diane and I are writing a book. It's something I've been toying around with for awhile, but keep putting it off because lets face it; I'm to lazy to read books, much less write one. Diane is really good at the detail stuff but always gets bogged down in describing things. I'm good at character backgrounds, and basic story lines, but get lazy with describing things. Plus my limited vocabulary makes for dull reading.

Anywho, we decided to do this awhile back. I had a Sci-fi idea that Dawg and I came up with years ago based on the characters from Contra. As far back as then, I've been saying one day I'd write the book.

Diane and I kept putting it off, until I finally had an idea. We both blog, which consists of writing. So why not start a blog for the book. I put that off for a month or so, and then last night I started it. The story has changed greatly from what Dawg and I came up with, but I'm loving it anyway. I have a rough draft of an intro, which needs to be lengthened, and I have a rough first part of Chapter 1. Diane will be adding to it hopefully soon. As we progress, I plan to draw pictures of the characters to put in the blog sidebar. Overall, I just hope we have fun doing it.

Diane is going to kill me for this, because I said I'd like to get a little more going and polished before we told anyone the site, but I'm just too excited. So I'm not going to wait.

The book can be read at http://flyingbluebishop.blogspot.com/. I don't plan for the book to have anything to do with flying blue bishops, but we don't have a title yet, and I needed something for the blog.

New Web Site Idea

2009-02-11T10:42:00.001-06:00

Track The Mormons dot com.

Ramblings

2009-02-11T08:20:00.004-06:00

Things keep piling up on my desk at work. The mail lady, who was obviously trained by the previous two mail people, keeps bringing me things that aren't addressed to me. If it has the word computer, or a picture of a computer anywhere on it, it must be mine, right? The other day I received a catalog to a place to buy fur coats. One of my colleagues bought something from there for his wife for Christmas, so they sent him a catalog. I guess since I work in the same department, she decided to deliver it to me instead of two doors down to him. Yesterday I received 3 of the same catalog. One addressed to me, one addressed to "IT Manager," and one addressed to my boss, although she is in St. Louis. I remember one time getting confidential contract paperwork from another company that our company does business with. It was addressed to a person in our legal department, but I got it because the return address had the company's name, CAS, Computer, something something. I usually file the mail that isn't mine under trash, but ever since that one, I look at it closer first. Some times it's beneficial to me. For instance, I always wanted to join IEEE. I got a letter addressed to someone with the same first name as mine with a special promotional code to join at a low price, so I did. So I don't complain to much.

Other things that are piling up on my desk include a laptop that belongs to Kate, a co-worker of mine. Actually her daughter's laptop. I told her I'd look at the problem it was having. Mind you, I don't make a habit of working on co-workers personal computers, but there are a very choice few that I consider close enough friends to do it.

Then there are the Nortel troubleshooting guides that I'm sifting through trying to find the answer to an IP phone anomaly that is going on here.

A candle. Yes, a candle. It has a wooden wick and makes a soothing popping noise like a small wood stove fire.

My coffee that is currently too hot to drink. By the way, did I spell "too" correctly there? I never know if it should be "too" or "to" in that particular usage.

Two tins of Ice Breakers, Ice Tea flavored, one tin of some horrid pure licorice stuff Diane bought. I can't stop eating it. Well, actually I did stop, that's why I still have it.

About three stacks of work related papers that I need to file. Instead I just go through them every time I need something and pray that I find it. That reminds me, I have a cabinet in the server room that I call "The Cabinet Of Requirement." Named after the room of requirement from the Harry Potter books. I swear there's not much in there but every time I need something, it happens to be in there.

Back to my desk. 5 computer monitors; dual monitors on two computers, and one to another computer. Yes, I use them all. An old Apple Macintosh SE, circa1980 something. No I don't use it, but it gets a lot of funny looks when people come by my office. Sitting atop the Apple is Yoda. I refer to him as my magic 8 yoda because he's one of those things that you ask a question, squeeze his hand, and he answers you. Yoda is wearing a variety of pins and lanyard pulls that I've collected as well as my 2007 Dragon Con badge.

That just about covers my desk. Stay tuned for what's on and in my hutch, and on my floor. Don't hold your breath though. I'm in rare form today or I wouldn't have babbled so much about my desk. Well, I need to get to work. My coffee is at a temperature I can drink, and emails are pouring in.

Good day all.

Dream Cast Update

2009-02-09T14:39:00.002-06:00

ATTENTION!!! Dream Cast Update.

Simon Templeman
Joey Lauren Adams
Deanna Russo

Carry On

Quote Worth Remembering. Hey, Obama!!

2009-02-05T15:31:00.000-06:00

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy
out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another
person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to
anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody
else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work
because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half
gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is
going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end
of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

"I'm Stressed Out About These Mormons"

2009-02-04T06:28:00.001-06:00

Those were the words Diane randomly said out of nowhere last night. Monday night, while watching Chuck, we were rudely interrupted by a knock at the door. Since I wasn't dressed to receive company, I dove into another room. It was Mormons at 7:30 at night. In the middle of Chuck. I now plan to invent "Doorbell ID." It will be like caller ID for people at your door. Anyway, Diane, soft hearted as she is, couldn't get rid of them. Not only that but she took one of their Book of Mormons and agreed that they could come back in a week and talk more to her about it. Now she just wants them to go away. I suggested just stating that we are Baptist and we are firm in our beliefs. If they pull that, "our beliefs aren't that different" crap, we can say "then why aren't you Baptist." Diane was fine with the idea, but just wants to get it over with. I'm still upset about Chuck's special 3D episode being interrupted by these guys. Before you start judging me saying that I find TV shows more import than God and salvation, I don't. But these were Mormons, and I do find TV shows more important than hearing what they have to say.

A First For Me

2009-02-02T08:21:00.003-06:00

Well, I played trumpet for a funeral yesterday. It was another first for me. A dear old lady at our church passed away Thursday night. She was very active in the church and choir. Her funeral was held at our church and it was very music filled. She loved music and had made many requests of songs at her funeral. I was honored to have been a part of filling her requests. My prayers go out to her family in their time of loss.

Dream Cast Update

2009-02-02T08:09:00.002-06:00

After reading Jigsaw's picks, I need to add Alan Rickman.

I also need to add Jorge Garcia and Henry Ian Cusick

I also need to remind Vin Diesel and Milla Jovovich that they need not apply.

Money Making Idea

2009-01-29T08:08:00.002-06:00

I am thinking about selling carbon offsets. They're certificates that people can buy saying that they can have a larger carbon footprint. They're really popular with the liberal left, and they're just pieces of paper. I could make millions. Just a thought.

2009-01-27T09:40:00.000-06:00

Living Cartoon Profile Number 7

2009-01-27T08:17:00.002-06:00

Name: Roy Shepherd McGonagall Tenneman O'Dowd
Name People Actually Use: Classified
Is This His Real Name? No
Preferred Room Temperature: 68 degrees Fahrenheit
Favorite Game: Currently, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe / All time, the original Contra for NES.
Preferred Simpsons Character: Comic Book Guy
Preferred Karaoke Song: None
Food Group Most Prevalent Within Work Area: Oatmeal

Top 5 Books Enjoyed and Recommended By Me

2009-01-26T07:43:00.007-06:00

Diane would arguably say that my top 5 book picks are only my top 5 because their my only 5, so I'll beat her to the punch. But i wanted to give a list of books I really enjoyed. These are not in any particular order.

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. This author is one of my favorites. He has a funny, dry sense of humor. He usually writes about his own experiences, but in this book he gives us a history lesson of, well, nearly everything. Only this is like the interesting trivia of history; things you might not otherwise know. A must read for any history buff.
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Bill Bryson spent a period of his life living in Europe. When he moved back to the states, his home was near one of the sections of the Appalachian Trail. He decided he would like to hike the entire thing and write a book about it.
The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton. This is a Star Wars book that takes place a few years after Return of the Jedi. It is an action packed adventure that leads up to the wedding of Han and Leia.
Han Solo At Star's End by Brian Daley. An adventure with Han and Chewie taking place before the first Star Wars movie (or 4th depending on how you count them)
And last, a book I've just started but destined to become one of my top 5, Jpod by Douglas Coupland. This is a fictional book about a group of video game designers.

screensaver

2009-01-23T09:35:00.003-06:00

Taking a page from Jigsawdiva, one of my resolutions is not only to post more, but read more from my family's blogs. To aide in this attempt, I subscribed to their blogs. Now I've found something even better. I have a screen saver that is basically a black background with text in a green phosphor look (like the old fashioned computers). You can set an RSS feed in the settings, and it types out the contents of the feed. This morning I discovered that our blogs have RSS capability. For some reason I can't get the blogspot feeds to work, but Jigsawdiva's did work. I now have her posts on my screen saver. Here's a bad pic of it.

Of course I'll have to visit the blog to see pictures, videos, etc. But this way I can see immediately when she updates it. Jigsawdiva, I'm holding you to your word to post more.

An Observation

2009-01-21T09:42:00.002-06:00

As an IT guy, I work on several different computers. I'm not referring to the fact that I fix computers, but that I have two on my desk at work, two at home, and a laptop with dual boot Windows and Linux. Because of this, when Firefox puts out their add on updates (the ones that you either have to install or tell it to skip in order to continue opening Firefox), I end up installing them at least 6 times. Sometimes I swear I'm installing them more than once on the same computer.

Comments

2009-01-21T09:29:00.002-06:00

I was told recently that there may be some issues with leaving comments. I hope I've fixed that, but if I hadn't let me know.

On My Soapbox

2009-01-21T08:26:00.004-06:00

For those of you that watched the Inauguration yesterday, I'd like to state that not all people from my home town are as ignorant as Joseph Lowery. I couldn't have been more embarrassed if he had led the crowd in a round of "Movin' On Up" from TV's "The Jeffersons." For those of you that missed it, here is an excerpt from his benediction.

"...we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right."

Because apparently, because of my skin color, I have been embracing wrong all of this time. And what kind of high strung Asian people has he been exposed too? Here's a quote for your Civil Righteousness.

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

Hmm, how soon we forget, just one day after celebrating this historical figure, that it is YOU, Mr. Lowery, that can't see past the color of skin. It is YOU and people like you that have made an abomination of the ideals that your precious icon held true. Equality?!? That word doesn't exist in your prejudice vocabulary.

Funny Pic

2009-01-20T15:06:00.000-06:00

I saw this today and thought I'd share.

Dog Days

2009-01-20T14:42:00.002-06:00

This weekend was nice, albeit cold. The dogs came in the house on Saturday, which is becoming more and more a treat for me. I can't remember my dogs' blog names, so they get new ones; oldest is Indiana, and youngest is Krypto. While laying down on the living room floor, Indiana came over and pushed my pillow out from under my head, and then proceeded to remind me that I hadn't showered yet by licking my head, my ear, my arm, and my eye. Ah, the joys of dogfatherhood, (no pun intended cousin, Dogfather)